John and I spent the walk to school yesterday discussing how we would escape from various animals if they were after us in a forest on a wild island. It went like this:

Gorilla trying to grab us? Tickle it under the arms and then run away.

Squirrels throwing nuts at us? Throw them back. Also, remind squirrels that if they want nuts for dinner, they should stop throwing them.

Toucan trying to peck at us? Just shoo it away. That’s not a hard one.

Alligator chasing us? Tie a balloon to its tail. It will chase itself in a circle trying to get the balloon.

Hyena angry at us? Tell it jokes to make it laugh. Then run for it.

Snake trying to bite our ankles? Climb a really tall tree. Or just feed it those squirrels from before.

Ants trying to climb on us? Jump in a pond. Be sure to go all the way under the water.

Tiger trying to scratch us? Cover selves in stripes of mud and orange peels. Tiger thinks we’re tigers. Wants to hang out.

Angry grasshoppers hopping on us? Call the toucan. He’ll eat them.

T. Rex chasing us? Mom, T. Rexes don’t live on this island.