Here nor There.

back hall

My family is betwixt and between right now. We live in the home that has been ours for the past ten years, but it’s not ours anymore. We’re renting it back from its new owners while we figure out what to build.

In many ways, this is great. First and foremost, we didn’t have to move this summer, and we’re not in temporary housing now. We put our house on the market with no plan for where to go, so not having to go anywhere has been an unexpected pleasure. Also, every time I notice something that might need to be done to or for this house, I get to remind myself that I won’t have to do it. For example: the garage will need to be painted. But I will not be the one to paint it.

On the other hand, it’s a little bit weird to be in a house that’s no longer yours. You’ve worked so hard on it, put so much time into it (see my blue floor above, for reference), made all the decisions about it for all this time, and then suddenly it all belongs to someone else. All decisions are theirs from here on out. But we’re still here! There’s a disconnect in this.

And then there’s the limbo (and excitement) of planning for our new house. We’re just beginning to go down that road now, so we can’t really even picture where we’ll end up. And I mean that literally. I have no mental image of our new house yet. So I can look ahead and imagine that I won’t be here. But where I will be? It’s an empty bubble.

It won’t be long until we start to color in that empty bubble with plans and sketches and colors. I look forward to being able to picture the next stage a little more clearly. Leaving one place will be easier once there’s a new place to go.

One thought on “Here nor There.

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