Last fall, a doctor made an offhand comment to me about brains. He said that neurologists order MRIs all the time because the brain is a mysterious thing. There just aren’t many ways to get information.

I remember this often now that thinking about my brain instead of just with my brain has become central to my every day life. I have this image of my brain as the jungle in the Heart of Darkness or Apocalypse Now. It’s a dark and secretive place, it’s hard to get around in there, and something’s going on that is not quite right. It’s a strange feeling, I’ll tell you that.

This morning I had an MRI, which (if we go with the movie metaphor instead of the book) is kind of like Captain Willard. It’s an envoy from myself and my doctors to go into the jungle and find out what the heck is going on. And that would mean that my MS is Colonel Kurtz. But enough about jungles.

The good news is that this MRI will allow my doctors to better measure the efficacy of the drug I’m taking. And it was easy. I know not to leave my hair in a knot under my head, or my gown knotted under my back so there weren’t terrible pressure points after 90 minutes in a tube. Also they gave me earphones this time! Even 90 minutes of top forty radio is better than the same number of minutes listening to clanking and banging. I had warm socks and a long sleeved t-shirt. I feel like a pro.

This scan was really just a baseline. The next one will be scary as heck, because that will be the one that gives us an idea of how well I’m responding to the drugs I’m taking. More on this three months from now.