Dang it!

ouch.

Dammit, I fell today. Skinned my knee a bit and cracked my phone, though it still works. I did not tear my jeans, which is a win.

This is my third fall of the year. Sometimes I fall spectacularly and publicly, knocking into signs and bystanders. Other times I’m more discreet. This time I was in my driveway, so unless my neighbors were peering out, I’m the only one who got to appreciate the tumble.

Aside from the fact that it obviously hurts when this happens, it’s annoying in that it prompts an instant leap into this train of thought:

“Oh crap, I did it again. Did I tear my jeans? Anything broken? Damn, I have MS. I wonder if that’s why I fell. I wonder if it’s getting worse. I wonder if it’s going to get worse. I wonder when it’s going to get worse. Damn.”

Then I just get up and keep going, because what else are you going to do? Lay there in the driveway? But for as long as I have a scraped hand or a sore knee, I also have this very real reminder of everything that goes along with it.

It’s also frustrating that falling isn’t funny any more. It was never point-and-laugh funny (my friends aren’t jerks!) but it was there-she-goes-again funny. Now it’s just grim so I never talk (and laugh) about it. I miss the jokes.

Anyhow, this isn’t high tragedy. God knows there’s enough going on in the world right now that my scraped knee pales in comparison. So does MS, for that matter. But I still don’t like either of them.

9 thoughts on “Dang it!

  1. Hey Kate! I had the exact same experience a couple of months ago when I was out running in D.C. Fell down and busted my knee, chin, cheek, self-confidence. Everyone is so nice asking if I’m OK, but what they don’t know is that the most painful thing is wondering if it was MS-related, or if there really was an invisible rock on the street that I tripped over. I feel your pain.

  2. I know exactly what you are saying.. First I stepped on a pillow, while making my bed, right on my knee. Second I fell out side (That damn invisible rock) broke my phone screen, my glasses , banged my head and nose, and boy what a mess of my leg. Third I was reaching for and egg in the chicken coop and I stood on the cinder blocks and they moved, and down on both wrist.Fourth last week I was feeding my chickens( I just love them they are so much fun. <3) and I twisted my ankle and again fell on my knee, This one really hurts! This is all in a two month period. I too always think "Is it my MS." It is hard never knowing Why we fall so much! I guess we all need to slow down. Hope none of us fall again anytime soon. Hugs Ann and Katie J.

    '

    • Thank you! I love reading your blog. Everyone I know you can tell they have MS. You seem to be the one I can connect most with. I will pay attention to foot drop. Thank you again. Hugs
      PS my phone got a new screen and and otter box. Ok for now . LOL

    • Hi,
      I am experiencing drop foot. What type of Afo Brace do you recommend I try? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Insurance won’t cover one.

      • Doc can refer you to physical therapist and/or brace guy. That would be a custom brace made to fit you, if insurance won’t cover it then you can go to a medical supply place and see if they can help you or you can look on eBay and try something from there. So much more info that you can research on the Internet to make an informed purchase. You may need to reevaluate your shoe choices.

  3. I’m sorry you fell. It’s not fun, I know from my experiences. My falls are directly related to my MS. I experience significant imbalance and foot drop on my right foot. I go down sometimes for no other reason than my foot didn’t come along with my body. So frustrating! I have an AFO but have a pride issue and I love cute shoes. The AFO is clumsy and it only fits the shoes my orthodics rehab makes the AFO for. Only two choice of styles. I hate this My MS s progressing and I’m sad. I was diagnosed with Primary Progressive MS in 2003 and I’m now 66. I’m a young 66 and a very active person. I go to PT every year for strengthening my right side. I also go for OT. My hand doesn’t work well when my symptoms are bad. I drop things. I can’t pick things up or I drop them. I can’t grasp things or put on most of my jewlery either.

    All this said, I’m so greatful for the AFO because I can walk. I have a very supportive family and friends. I’m blessed. I’m strong in spirit and will keep positive and try to find joy in every circumstance. I so identify with you and can feel your frustration with rose invisible rocks.

  4. Thanks so much for the post. I thought I was the only one who cares about whether I tear a hole in my jeans when I fall. We laugh. We have to find humor with this crazy disease. It may hurt from the fall but as long as we haven’t ruined our clothes or break a nail we are good!!! Lol
    It’s getting harder to laugh sometime because I can’t really get up by myself anymore. But as long as I’m still moving I can deal with is. Keep posting. I feel better knowing I can read your blog when I start feeling sorry for myself. Love your blog. I’m glad I came across it. Don’t even remember how I found your blog, but I am very happy I did. Lots of love
    Quintessa.

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