Damn’d Spot.


“Out, damn’d spot! out, I say!”

I went to see my neurologist yesterday, and I have a spot. More specifically, I have an enhancing lesion in my brain, but I think of them as spots. In the past, I’ve had tiny white flares that look like stars or flashes on the scan. So small that I can let myself think of them as transient. This time I have what looks like a thumbprint just to the left of center. It’s the first one, and I’m not very happy about it.

My neurologist (who is awesome – I would carry her around in my pocket if I could) still thinks that the drug I’m on right now will work, so we’re giving it a little more time. Again, I feel exposed. I’ll find out in a few months whether I need to try a third option.

But let me end with far more positive news — there was plenty of that, too. I haven’t shown any signs of progression in the last year. It’s easy to take that for granted now, but a year ago it would have been parade-worthy news. When I was diagnosed, Matt and I weren’t sure what to expect, but whatever it was, this is better. Further, I can actually do a few things that I couldn’t do a year ago. Nothing crazy, but little tests show my  balance is better and my right side is stronger.

So all in all: I’m great. Terrific. I’m so, so lucky.

But I still wish, like Lady MacBeth, that I could get rid of this damned spot.

7 thoughts on “Damn’d Spot.

  1. Thanks, Catherine! My neuro is the best – I appreciate how aggressive she’s being about getting this exactly right.

  2. I commented on your walk blog and just read this one. I could have written this one too. I read this post to my husband and he said, “is that you?” I have a “new spot” too. It was seen on my March 3rd MRI. My neurologist also said that my medication was working, stay positive and we will re-evaluate after my September MRI if necessary.

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