A friend told me yesterday that her hair is thinning because menopause is coming. What?! We have to have hot flashes and thinning hair? This is yet another difficult truth about being a woman that nobody wants to tell you ahead of time. I’m not saying that there’s some kind of conspiracy, but…

Hopefully I’m not breaking some kind of code here, but I’ll give you examples. Some from personal experience, and some from what I’m noticing with friends and women I admire.

> There comes a time when you’re both young enough to get pimples and old enough to have wrinkles. This doesn’t seem fair.

> It’s 2013, but you will encounter sexism at work. Especially when you’re under 30. Be ready.

> Having a baby is a bloody mess. Literally. I’m sorry, but it’s true. It’s true for weeks.

> After you have a baby, jumping on a trampoline is a risky proposition. If you’ve been through it, you know what I mean.

> No matter how fair the balance between you and your partner, the mommy is still the mommy. Sometimes that’s a good thing, and sometimes not.

> As you get older, your shape and metabolism just change. Not for the better. Movie stars seem to be able to arrest this process. You probably can’t.

> Doctors begin sentences with “Sometimes, as we get older…” and it can apply to anything from aches and pains to a mole on your face. Turning forty apparently accounts for any problem you can think of.

> Wrinkles and grey hair frequently look handsome on men, but sometimes look haggard on women.

> Daughters are far, far more likely to be the ones caring for aging parents, even when there are sons available.

A few years ago, my friend Yvonne and I drank quite a bit and told some of these things to a much younger woman. We found it hilarious. She looked horrified and quickly made an excuse to exit the conversation. I guess maybe there’s a reason we all keep the secrets until the right time comes along.